Have you ever taken that leap that leaves you just totally and completely breathless? Like the leap when you really do not know where you are going to land.
Well this is what I am about to do, yet again.
I have done it like this once before, in a similar way. The leap I took when I left the U.S., quit my pediatric nursing job that I adored, returned my leased car early, got on a plane, and traveled across the world to a small village in the base of the Himalayas with two small bags, a one way ticket to a place that healed my heart, my being, and proved right the deep longing that had existed within myself since a small child. I had come to Sattva Yoga Academy to integrate the teachings, teach, evolve, live in the dharmic flow, and see what nature desired through me.
I have been here about 3 years now, in Rishikesh, India, teaching, living the teachings, growing, transcending, evolving, all in a brilliant sangha, supported by an incredibly wise and illuminated Master of Yoga and Founder of Sattva Yoga Academy, Anand Mehrotra. I came here not to just study or teach, but to truly become more illuminated in the Self and grow in all ways that life is asking of me. Anandji is not the kind of Guru that is going to let your unconscious slide under the carpet, he is going to call it out! Sometimes in a kind, soft way, sometimes with a sword, ferocious like Kali; so one can only imagine what kind of ride this has been. An incredibly beautiful and raw journey of surrender to something far greater than the egoic self, known as the mind, and an opening to the pure divine love of existence, is what this has been. This journey and gift is not one that can be written or summed up, but one that can only exist within the very depths of the heart.
I share this with you as I yet again take a leap, this time, returning to the land called the United States, which feels more foreign to me than India, Africa, and all places “Eastern.” For me, this feels like home, Mama India. She is the cosmic womb, which holds the vibration of those seeking the depths of the truth of existence, of God, of Light, of Love, of Soul, of Purpose; she is home; home to the heart; home to the soul. But beyond that feeling, home cannot be a location and spirit is calling, pushing, assembling that this body moves from the comforts of where it is located. It is used to teaching in this space, in this way, guiding, leading, and supporting the community and space here. Nature, for the last year has been downloading strongly through my being to create, to move, to share, to expand, to soar, to rise, and to fly!
When we resist what nature wants, we suffer. For me, I usually get physically sick to the body, when I resist natures push. In the past, it was a 3-year course before my awakening of anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, a broken tibia, a close friend leaving his body in an accident, and a mild traumatic brain injury as the final bang! This time, it was just a 6 month run of parasites as I sat in fear and resistance of leaving the known for the unknown and telling my Guru that it was time for me to share in other ways too. It is funny what the mind tries to do to keep us in a lower state of consciousness. Nature knows best, we can hear the whispers, the deeper call, the need to make a change, yet the mind will make every excuse to stay stagnant, pushing away greater evolution.
I know the purpose that wants to flow through this being and it has been quite obvious my whole life. It has shown up in many different unpredictable forms, but now the dance continuous and the leap is the most relevant course of action. Where one will land is the gift.
I share all of this to encourage you to wait no more! See clearly when you are in hesitation, fear, lack, or resistance. Nature will express herself through you in the most beautiful, divine, and magical way, if you only allow and surrender to that which you do not yet know. Create space for her to move through you, for you to live purposefully in all moments. Maybe that means sitting in the unknown. Maybe that means you don’t know how you will support the journey or how it will look, but the action has to be taken and all will reveal itself. My time in India has been the most majestical and magical experience one could imagine living. Diving into the cosmic depths of being and dancing the cosmic dance as you see the play all so clearly and choose to keep playing along because of the ecstasy and joy that is here to be experienced.
Life, no matter if you think you have a secure plan, is unknown. So you might as well live it as fearlessly and ferociously as possible. This means no more waiting, no more doubting, no more worrying about what you “might” miss or what could happen. Life supports dharmic living and evolution. Take inspired action, manifest vision, see it all unfold exactly as it desires, through YOU. Take no credit, just witness the beauty that is life and she will dance her cosmic dance, breathe her cosmic breath, and guide her cosmic magic right through you.
India, in the relative reality of nature, feels like home and always will. Sattva is the place on Earth where miracles were shown and the cosmic oasis revealed to me. But to cling to this location shows in no way, my evolution, and is not currently aligned with what nature wants. I will be here still, just not all the time, for now. The heart is big, and for now she is holding all places, all beings, within her. This being is not meant to be in one location for very long, that is clear. It is part of the journey.
Playing the play that wants to be played.
Allowing the roar inside to be fully expressed.
Be guided. Take action. Listen to your inner guidance. Be fearless. Have courage. Evolve.
The Heart of a Lion, Roaring